fall

i dont know what it is about this season that evokes such warm, gushy feelings inside of me. that sounds weird. what i mean is, there is a physical feeling that happens when the season changes from summer to fall. normally you can't really tell the difference down here in sunny SoCal, but this year is turning out to be a good one for the frosty fall mornings. it inspires me to drink carmel apple ciders and and pumpkin spice chai lattes. and to open the windows and bundle up under a bunch of blankets at night. i love love LOVE it.

on the other side of things, though, along with the feeling of warm fuzzies that i associate with scarves, beanies and baggy sweaters comes the feeling of discontentment.

discontentment with where i am, my job, my general day-to-day life. it makes it hard to sit inside of a cubicle all day, and i feel like i'm making very little progress in what God is calling me to do. which seems to be, at the moment, is to sit and wait on him. which i will do, and Lord willing, do it joyfully.

so, here i sit, waiting, with a feeling of excited trepidation that is holding hands with a churning in my stomach that i can't explain. all i can think is, God is going to do something big. and I hope i'm there when it happens.