bottles and cans.

i broke down and cried at a gas station today. i was just standing there, filling my tank, and an old man walks up. he didn't look at me, he just shuffled over to the trash can, dug through it, and pulled some bottles out and put them in his plastic bag. he then walked around to all the trash cans and did the same thing. as i watched him, i was frozen with uncertainty of what i could do. here was this man, old enough to be my grandfather, digging through trash to find just a few plastic bottles that he could recycle. he had a jacket on, and shoes on his feet, and he didn't look like he necessarily was homeless. but never the less, there he was. digging through trash for recyclables. all i could think about was my own grandpas. about how i would never, EVER let them get to the point of having to dig through trash to scrape together some extra change. i'm ashamed to say that i got in my car and left, because i have no idea what i should have done. asked him to hop in? taken him to mcdonalds and bought him a cup of coffee? my excuses were weak, that i had to get back home to go to a concert (of all things), that i had somewhere to be and commitments. that i didn't know him, didn't know if he was crazy, homicidal, etc etc. regardless, i should have said something. i should have said ANYTHING. because, in essence, i just let my grandfather dig through trash to get some extra change.

tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully with that new day comes new opportunities. and not old mistakes.

i'm a moron

I get so upset about little things. Big things happen, but they don't freak me out as much. Then one little itty bitty thing feels like it's going to collapse my whole world.

I'm reading through the OT this semester...seeing as I'm taking 3 OT classes, that makes sense. And every day its a new picture of God's plan from the very beginning to restore his creation to what He created us to be. I can see it working, see the big picture, get excited...but then I hit a little bump that barely makes a blip in my radar, and WHOA! It makes everything else i know fly out of my mind and sends me into a downward spiral of panic.

God is the God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. My life is just a vapor, a mist that will be blown away and then gone in an instant. I can't waste it on all this drama. I'm praying that God will keep refining me until I only reflect Him, and not my little blips of dumbness.